Giving Up the Bottle

Week 2 of the New Year's resolution and giving up the bottle is not going so well. No, not me, talk about setting yourself up for failure. It is Gregory's Mommy-imposed resolution to be bottle-free in 2009. He is not happy, in fact, he's down right cranky as he gets used to life without a nipple. It's almost as bad as New Year's 2004 with my South Beach Diet resolution. I gave up my bottle (of red wine) for 2 weeks. Two words come to mind, ornery and bitch, and that is being kind. Just ask my husband. We all learned a valuable lesson about the necessity of having vices in one's life.

So what is my resolution for 2009, you ask? I pilfered it from another blogger. She decided rather than trying to add or subtract a vice, behavior, or food from her life to make her a better, healthier, thinner person, she would start the year off with a new perspective. Whenever she was set to complain about something or someone - kids, mother, health, job, etc - she would pretend like she was living 20 years in the future and try to view the issue from that lens.

For example, say her mother calls her up to tell her that in the recent pictures she posted of the kids, she did not think it appropriate that her eldest son was wielding a large stick. 'Do you always let him play with sticks? That's very dangerous. Someone could lose an eye.'
The 2008, 30 something self would reply with a sarcastic, 'Gee, thanks Mom. Glad you liked the pictures. Would you like me send you copies of the ones where I'm dangling both kids off the bridge by their ankles?
The 2009 reaction from her 50 plus lens, 'Gosh, Mom, I'm so glad you're still alive to talk to. I thought all of that nagging and judging would have surely killed you by now.'

Seriously, I'm finding the new perspective to be valuable. Both of my boys are in 'Mommy, Mommy, Mommy mode' right now. Every sentence starts with a whiny 'Mommy' or 'Mama' and ends with both of them grabbing some part of my person and yanking, pulling, twisting, licking.

Charlie was hanging on me yesterday at the grocery store and actually pulled my sweat pants down below my ass. 'Attention Safeway shoppers, we currently have a special on extra marbled Mommy butt roast in the meat department.'

All the attention does warm my heart, though many days, especially after 5 straight hours of listening to 'Mommy, Mommy, Mommy', I find it intrusive and annoying. But if I imagine myself in 20 years, A) I'll be lucky if my boys are even in the same state, let alone house, as me, and B) they probably won't be calling me Mommy anymore. I'm thinking it will either be 'Mother', said with a huff and rolled eyes, or if they've read this blog 'Thankless woman who complains about her children incessantly'.

While I can promise that Gregory will be sticking to his resolution - I threw all of his bottles in the trash January 1st. Mine will be a work in progress. Some days a fresh perspective is welcome and can help us to see things clearly. Other days, it's as inviting as a cold bottle of non-alcoholic beer at the end of a long day.