A little privacy please

Forget the Patriot Act, being a Mom is the ultimate violation of privacy.
Perfect example, I was in the bathroom this morning, trying to...you know...go. The baby comes crawling in; chewing on those little knobs at the base of the toilet, trying to pull himself up on the tub. Smart little bugger decided to strike when I was most vulnerable. What could I do but sit there as he had his way with every nasty surface in the bathroom? It was when he knocked over the garbage can that Charlie's 'party in the potty' radar must have been tripped.
Next there are 3 of us in my tiny, tiny, tiny bathroom. A bathroom so small that if you are sitting on the toilet (alone), there is not enough clearance for the door to close. And of course Charlie decides he wants to shut the door. I quickly swing my legs to the side as I'm telling him, 'You can't shut it. There's not enough room.' He knocks my knees, scrapes my toes, narrowly misses my head and finally slams the door. Satisfied, he looks at me and says, "I shut the door to give you some privacy, Mommy."
I can't even wipe my own butt in private. Being a Mom is the most humbling experience for which I'm grateful and sometimes, not so much. If I had some alone time, I'd ponder this further along with my true feelings on the Patriot Act.